So this was the scene on Friday night:
(Ummm... I most certainly did NOT take that blurry picture... LOLOL)
My Bible study friends have gotten into scrapbooking. OH HAPPY DAY!!!!! My favorite hobby and some of my favorite people all rolled into one. What more could a girl want? :)
I only got two pages half-way done because there was a lot of eating and visiting going on, which is perfect! I brought my pages home and finished them up today. Both are simple pages, as it's really the stories I wanted to get down on paper and not so much about getting the perfect masterpiece made.
First, my sister and my son. Two of my favorite people and two of the biggest blessings in my life. I wish I had put "blessed" in my title instead of "lucky" but it's all good... Paper is Sassafras Lass, buttons are Maya Road, ribbon is SU!, bingo card (?), stickers are Simple Stories.
This other page is just a simple one of my kiddo enjoying dinner at one of our faves, Chik-Fil-A. It was a fundraising event for school. Yes, I acquired a gift card from the restaurant for the purposes of adding it to my layout. I'm sure CFA won't mind! Paper is (?)- I dunno because my bestie JenBarkdull just cleaned out her stash and gave me a bunch of patterned paper and this was in it! :) Stickers are BG and Crate Paper.
On a more personal note, that Friday night crop was very nearby a place where I used to live, and a place where a big chunk of my heart has been for the last six years. At the end of the night I was at a crossroads, both literally and figuratively: I could have turned left and driven less than a mile to go back to that life and those arms that were waiting for me, wanting me around forever, or I could turn right and head home to my son and my immediate family, where I truly belong and where ALL of my heart SHOULD be. For these last six years I've always been forced to choose between the two. No harmony could exist between the choices or between the people in both locations and it's rendered me broken... feeling useless... sad.... and exhausted beyond belief. (Notice how I said those arms want "ME" around forever and not "US," as in me and my son? Yeah, just thought I should point that out.)
So what did I do? I turned right to head home... but it wasn't easy. The fallout since that decision has been really rough on me. I've made that decision before but my resolve would always fail, or I'd be talked into going back, or my loneliness would get the best of me, or < insert excuse here >. The ugly truth is, it's like a wound that's been going on for almost six years now that keeps getting opened and infected and closed and re-opened and re-infected... you get the picture. I guess I'm rambling on about this because my heart is breaking and I don't feel so good... kinda; when I woke up on Saturday morning next to my son I knew I had made the right decision. I still know I've made the right decision, but it doesn't make it easier.
Then today I saw this quote from Max Lucado: "Your pain won't last forever, but you will. What is coming will make sense of what is happening now. Let God finish His work." OK, Lord, I'm in your capable hands... for as long as it takes... but if it could be a little bit less rough, is that too much to ask?
I thank all of you for keeping me in your prayers as I try to keep moving forward and not back.